Depression effects me in several ways.
1) My emotional state is disturbed – I tend to be more easily annoyed. Quicker to anger. Harder to laugh, harder to smile
2) Deeper subjects come up to the surface creatively. On stage this week I have discussed the effects of racism, the differences of equality, black vs white context, sexual issues, my depression and its habits. Generally I am a lot lighter on stage, but when I hit this mode I know I am going to go deep.
3) Becoming a complete loner. I don’t enjoy people like I usually do. First one to find an exit as soon as possible.
4) My physical state crumbles – I seem to be unable to do as many push ups or any gym related activity while this lingers.
5) Willpower shrinks. My checklists become optional instead of required.
6) Mind going a mile a minute, even more so than usual.
7) More apt to hurt feelings
8) Once I start working, I hit a zone – do not disturb, something interesting will come out.
9) I stop reaching out to contacts, think everyone doesn’t want to hear from me.
10) My apartment becomes a mess.
